green-satan:

milkybabie:

I was in love with this boy once so I started to beat him up everyday but people thought we were rough housing bc boys can’t like each other and one day I was like “dude I like you a lot but I can’t cope with my feelings so I beat you up im sorry” and he was like “dude that’s really chill we can hold hands if you want??? Btw you have really good punches.” And that’s the story of how I had my first boyfriend

that was wild from start to finish







ichthyologist:

shark weak




thediluteddreams:

flagrantnonsense:

Hey kids wanna buy some drugs

Welcome to Florida




dekutree:

girls: spank me i’ve been naughty

me: its okay we all make mistakes 







radboysehun:

im ok w spending $40 on food but wont buy a $40 shirt







touchedbyanangela:

sorry kids you’re either going to have to get a job or go to uni
oh but uni’s probably going to cost you more so you’ll need to do both
also we don’t have enough jobs for you




foxnewsofficial:

i get so affectionate when i’m sleepy it’s disgusting







sctot:

i heard the funniest time travel joke tomorrow







damnirishs